Changes: Big and Small

23 Apr


Caroline Nash: So Curlyhead Problems has been on a bit of a hiatus, mostly because I have been up in arms about Reese Witherspoon’s mugshot. How did she make it look like a cute instagram photo?! I don’t get it!

Katie Marshall: And I have been busy getting synthetic buttermilk dumped on my face. Seriously.

CN: However, despite everything, there’s something that’s been going on lately. Many of my other friends are in this boat, too. We are at this point in the midst of our twenties: college is distant enough behind us (though, for a lot of us, the Student Loans aren’t. Side note: If I’m still paying student loans, can I still get Campus Cash for Pizza Hut? I think it’s only fair), we are adjusting to the new worlds we have created for ourselves. Changes are being thrust into our lives whether we want them or not. Hunting for new jobs when secure jobs suddenly go down the drain. Countless friends getting engaged and seemingly have their shit together while you are most likely in bed drinking red wine, eating cheese, and getting overly involved with the fictional relationship with Olivia and President Fitzgerald Grant on ‘Scandal’ (I’m sorry, just how did my mental fantasies get on ABC?! Shonda, you’ve done it again.)

You are feeling overwhelmed in your battle to take over Corporate America or struggling to find the balance in work vs. happiness so you don’t turn to waste like the squiggly worms that Ursula takes her power from in ‘the Little Mermaid’. Without making this sound like an out and out ThoughtCatalog article, change is a constant and how do we deal with it? You are striving for something more, carving a niche for yourself, when all you want is to be to surrounded by the comforts of the friends you’ve had for years. Why make new friends when you have memories and history with a group of people you can go to as you please? Why can’t a world exist where everyone you love is within tin can on a string calling distance?


Though Taylor and I aren’t necessarily on the same side of the fence right now, I keep going back to her song ‘Change’, specifically the chorus where she says, “Because these things will change. Can you feel it now? These walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down. This is a revolution. The time will come for us to finally win.”

It’s like T is saying the struggle is temporary and necessary for us to grow and evolve creatively, as humans, emotionally, and beyond that and then some. But it’s such a difficult thing to see beyond, to see the finish line, or to even seek the change. Change is straight up terrifying. I mean look what happened to Felicity after she cut her hair in Season 2! It changed everything as we know it.

KM: And as Tupac and I are pretty much always on the same side of the fence, I will forever go back to his song “Changes.” The line, “Misplaced hate makes disgrace to races – we under. I wonder what it takes to make this one better place…let’s erase the wasted” has remained one of my favorites since 9th grade. I know that because of my suburban upbringing I have a limited scope of how big this song’s perspective really is, but it made wonder, and still does, what does it take to make the world a better place? And how can I even begin to work on that when I’m going through so many changes myself?

Not to go all “not a girl, not yet a woman” on you, but changes are happening to us every day, especially for 20-somethings, especially for women, especially for everyone. And if you’re in this weird middle place like us, where the changes aren’t huge yet, they’re more subtle, then you know what I’m talking about. There’s just something about this time of year.

Although Spring is the younger, flouncier sister to cool, leather jacket wearing Autumn, it is also a time of change in its own right. It’s a discreet change, though. The pastel to Autumn’s burnt orange. The temperature rises unassumingly, like a student timidly raising a hand in class. Daylight stays out a little later each night, lackadaisically pushing her curfew back a few more minutes each night. The changes I’m seeing in myself feel like this – quieter, and happening regardless of whether or not I acknowledge them.  Before, my changes were huge and abrupt: college, a new relationship, getting a job. Lately my development has been more subtle, small flowers blooming on the side of the road of my life and I have found that just as with flowers, the only time I ever really see myself changing is when I make the effort to turn my head and notice it. My hair’s gotten longer, my apartment is different, and I now know when to get my oil changed. Two years ago I would have skipped dinner to hang out with someone. Now if I’m tired, I’m going to stay in, and I’m not going to feel guilty about it. I may Instagram my glass of wine with Sex & The City playing the background to generate at least a small ping of social activity, numb as social media connections may be, but I won’t feel lame when I go to brunch the next morning and everyone talks about the bar and I say “I just had a really nice quiet night in. It was great.”

When I first started working I would say “Well, I just started here about (x) months ago…” I tried to pull that recently, and said “Well, I just started here 2 years ago” and realized how much heavier 2 years felt than a couple of months. Small changes are happening here, time is passing, but it’s only when I reflect to see the significance. Otherwise, life keeps going and little things progress in a slow evolution that feels less like growing up and more like growing into myself.

CN: Sometimes the negativity we face in the world starts with ourselves. I’m the first to admit how bad I can be about this with myself. I call myself an idiot at least 12 times a day, am constantly mad at my body, my hair, and comparing the state of my career to others. This is where the source of it and where we must nip it in the bud. I’ve started telling myself in the mirror at least once a day, “Hey, you’re awesome.” Or “Hey, you’re looking good today.” Or “Hey, you’re headed in the right direction, remember that.”

It sounds trivial, but it has started to make a difference. When I see myself in the right light and treat myself accordingly, I can make the positive change I want in the world with my humor, writing, and performing, but even more so lately, as a friend, because at the end of the day that’s what so many people are  looking for. It’s a lesson we’re not taught forthright in school, but it’s a lesson we all need to take toward each other. We need each other, it’s a fact. Maybe I won’t achieve what I’ve striven to do in life, but at least I have tried, with varying levels of success and failure, to be a better friend. And that feels right.

KM: My past self and my old ways aren’t all gone, proving that personal evolution means carrying some of our past with us to our next stop. I’m still a shopaholic. I found myself perusing Target yesterday for no real reason other than to get something. The small change that proves I’m changing is that I looked down at my arms and saw two dresses and a coffee grinder (what?) and instead of just getting them all, I picked  one I actually liked, dumped the grinder, and spent less than I would have a year ago. We learn as go, baby steps as they may be.

The other part that hasn’t left yet is this deep longing to make the world a better place. Maybe it’s our generation, maybe it’s my Mom’s doing, maybe it’s my destiny, but everything about me wants to leave the world a better place than I found it. This feels big and small, selfish and selfless, since to think that anything I will do will impact the world is but a notch away from arrogance – who am I but a middle-sized curly headed girl in the face of the world? I am one of literally billions and yet I can’t help but want to make something better in a big way. Do some good. It doesn’t just feel important, it feels necessary.

Look, we’re going to need to talk about Boston. And Texas. And the world, really. For every one step humanity takes forward in loving each other, someone somewhere drags us back two. We are humans and as such, we will sometimes love each other, sometimes support each other, and sometimes some of us will hurt each other.

CN: This past week in particular has resonated with us all more than normal, from the bombings at the Boston Marathon, to the explosion of the fertilizer plant in West, Texas, to the countless shootings we hear about on a daily basis, and then some. It makes you wonder if the change you seek to embark upon in the world matters at all. It makes the discontent in the change you feel in your life feel small and insignificant in comparison. What does it matter when there are so many others in their daily lives facing much bigger struggles like disease, fighting to meet Maslow’s hierarchy of needs, dealing with this loss of loved ones. What does it matter? Why do we matter as one person amongst 6 billion people and growing?

Because we do. Without you here, someone may lose an ear that they rely on when they need to vent to, or your pet loses the one person who loves him unconditionally, or your parents, who would go to the moon and back for you, wouldn’t have any reason for that roundtrip ticket. There is a purpose to our singular existence. Sure, one person can try to bring down a city or country, but to combat that we see hundreds, thousands, even millions of people fighting back and standing strong in that, in the end love always wins. As cheesy as that sounds, it’s true. It’s hard to see that sometimes when we’re in the thick of the storm, but it does arise and we will come above. That’s why it can be hard to fight and see why change is important, why we as a collective should focus on change, because how are supposed to grow in our beliefs, relationships, and aspirations if we don’t?

Acknowledging that we are struggling and in the point of transition can only make us better people in the long run. That’s why at this point in the middle road of our twenties it feels so daunting and terrifying, because we do not know exactly what lies next. What is the next step to reaching our dreams? Are we really ready to share the rest of our lives with another person? What is next? These things can’t happen if we don’t actively embrace and pursue the change or we may end up alone with a pack of 16 dogs re-watching the Adventures of Mary-Kate and Ashley videos while listening to Reba and drinking Franzia (which to be fair, that doesn’t sound too bad), there is so much more to our lives and world that exist beyond our door and we have to be ready for it.

KM: I’ve realized something small and yet radical recently. I want to change things – well, I’ve always known that, but what’s different is that now I actually going for it, rather than before where I knew I wanted to “change the world” but left it there as an intangible bumper sticker on the VW Bus that is my soul. The bummer here is that action requires some things that I’m not so happy about: time and patience. Persistence, too, sure, but I’ve got that in spades. The problem here is that change takes time. And in the day of the almighty Internet and after 2 decades of having the world at my fingertips, ain’t nobody got time for waiting.

Former Patriots player Joe Andruzzi carrying an injured survivor to safety.

Former Patriots player Joe Andruzzi carrying an injured survivor to safety post Boston Marathon. (Source: Buzzfeed)

There are things like equal rights for all genders and races that are so big I’m not sure how to impact them and things so small like wanting to spend less at Target that I’m not sure why I even should focus on impacting them and then there are things like dreams where I see myself impacting all of these things and more that make me think I can do it, big or small, the change can happen, and it will. But it’s a choice, every time. It’s an action. Even though it’s advertised as this force like an ocean wave or poison gas settling over a town, unstoppable and huge, change is simply an action verb. It’s a check mark in one box or another. Yes I will change. No I will not change.

Small changes can feel like big steps though, which is important to remember. Last year, after the Newtown, Connecticut massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary, I started participating in Ann Curry’s 26 Acts, in which every person does one act of kindness in remembrance of each victim in the school shooting. I changed it to 27 acts, to include Adam Lanza’s mother. I later discussed it with my boyfriend’s father, whose immediate reaction was, “27? Not 28?” I’ve since modified it.

This is a weird journey to take for so many reasons. It’s nerve-wracking at times, because I feel much more comfortable looking straight ahead in the Starbucks line than turning around to ask what the person behind me is ordering so I can buy it for them. Most of my acts have been quiet or sans direct interaction – messages on Facebook, donating online, buying someone’s food behind me at a drive-through.  I’m a Random Act of Kindness Bandit. I want to get in, do the good, and get out.  Other weirdness comes from how I try to share it with others. I’m posting pictures of each Act on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, anywhere I can, partially to keep me accountable, but also because the bigger social media gets, the more hate I see pumping out of it and I’ve just got to do something, however small, to combat that. How many subtweets do you see in angry letter format? “Dear girl in front of me at Chic-Fil-A, exactly how many sandwiches are you ordering? #waitingsucks #h8u #fatty” And how often do you see people posting a picture with a caption like, “Wow, this person did something incredible for me.” Or even, “Hey, this person needed me, so I stepped up as a fellow human and helped them.” We’ll openly mock each other or re-send embarrassing moments of others, but when it comes to sharing our good deeds, suddenly we’re coy? We’re shy? We’re ashamed? I’m not trying to put myself on a pedestal; I’m not trying to show off. I’m trying to change the world. And I’ve learned that one of  the best way to spread the love these days is by sending messages into the Internet world in hopes that they are shared with others.

I wish everyone would post a picture each time they let someone into their lane (safely, though, be careful when driving) or when they hugged a stranger because they looked like they needed it or actually said “Yes” when a homeless person asked them if they had any change. I want my newsfeed full of good acts, good things, the kind of things that give me chills because it takes my whole body to digest the idea that a small act of kindness can be courageous and huge and can change the world.

If it’s optimism vs nihilism, I’m going to choose optimism again and again, every time, because I will be damned if this miracle of life is to be wasted thinking that nothing is worth anything.

CN: Sometimes it’s hard to just pick yourself up off of the ground or to even admit openly that yes, life is difficult, because it’s hard to let others see that you’re struggling when it feels like everyone else around you has the secret passcode to success in life. To be frank, it sucks. All you want to do is listen to ‘Stay’ by Rihanna over and over again and try not to cry in the middle of Spin class. It’s a weird balance to feel that everything you are feeling is on your sleeve, yet you can’t openly admit that yes, you feel alone, that yes, right now life is shit and couponing makes you feel like you are a little bit in control of your life. Now I’m just rambling on like one of Carrie’s voiceovers in  ‘Sex and the City’ but I swear there is a point to all of this and I think it’s that if we are open to each other in how we feel about this change issue, maybe it won’t feel so terrible. Because we are ALL going through something like having a baby spitting up all over your sweater when you just want to get paid to do what you went to college for. (Not a metaphor.)

It’s important to remember that there is a reason you are struggling and even more important to remember that you have to change to move forward and remember that there is still happiness in the present, despite how bleak it may seem at times. Even if it is just the cute Trader Joe’s check out guy that is paid to flirt with you. I found a Johanna de Silentio quote on Tumblr that has resonated with me today especially: “Relax. You will become an adult. You will figure out your career. You will find someone who loves you. You have a whole lifetime; time takes time. The only way to fail at life is to abstain.” I think this is so important to remember because, like we said change, is terrifying and sometimes we can’t handle the rate that it’s coming at us, but the circle of life is here to ultimately protect us in the end, and everything we seek will come in time.


It’s Always Better When We’re Together

21 Jan

Katie Marshall: Some things just go better together: Cook Out after a night out, a long tank over leggings, and Oreos and Peanut Butter (cheers, young Lindsay Lohan). But the things that go best together are not things or even treats: they’re people. Think about all of the awesome famous couples you know, or even the awesome friends that you have, and how some are just better together. I can tell you one thing, it’s always better when Caroline and I are together. My jokes are funnier, my style enhanced, and my smile broader. The thing about soul mates is that they come in such different shapes, sizes, and roles in our lives that it’s difficult to spot them until you’re with them. It’s important to remember that sometimes soul mates are friends, siblings, or ridiculous co-workers that needs their own TLC TV Show stat. We’ve been noticing and thinking of some people who would produce a super mega star if only they were put together, just like when the Power Rangers would bring all of their cool animal themed robot cars together at the end of every episode to form Megazord.

Caroline Nash: In case you weren’t aware, under a rock, lost in the Sahara desert, too busy searching for the perfect pair of riding boots, or secretly planning a comeback (Looking at you JT, Kelly, Michelle, and Benoncaloncyé Knowles-Carter), but the other royal couple (Not Beyoncé and HOVA or Kate and Wills) aka Kimye announced that they are incubating a child. I have previously written about how I secretly love this pairing and the fact that they are having a child was inevitable, expected, and unreal. I cannot wait to hear the future stories of how Kanye is having a 14K gold jacuzzi commissioned for the water birth built in their forthcoming mansion in California. We will be inundated of pictures of Kristal Kardashian-West (the child’s name must start with a K) as we fight the urge to vomit while we look at them. This got us thinking about other notable celebrities and politicians and figures throughout history who really should procreate regardless of gender and sexual orientation and even if they are fictional characters. This was all thrown out the window.


KM: So we stepped into our Curlyheads science lab, put on our bejeweled lab coats, and starting putting incredible famous people together to dream about what a super mega incredible baby they might make together. Our combinations are devoid of sexuality, gender, and most of all, logic, but the results are real. Or at least really hilarious. To us.

Joe Biden + Barack Obama
(Bo Biden)


CN: When Katie and I discussed this the first combination that immediately came to mind was our beloved President Barack Obama and American Treasure, Vice President Joe Biden. What would go better together than the smooth talking Obama and the unknowingly hilarious Joe Biden. Can you just picture this child? They would be able to talk down a Ferrari salesman and convince him to give cars to the homeless and make him feel like a million bucks. This child would have the seductive powers of a million George Clooney’s. This child would be the king of Harvard Law School and every Secret Society would be fighting to have him as a member.

Tina Fey + Amy Poehler

CN: Let’s be real everyone, after their recent Golden Globe triumph all but confirmed what we already knew, Tina and Amy need to procreate together. That is a Baby Mama 2 we would all pay to see. Katie and I have different viewpoints on what the child of Tina and Amy would turn into. I will let Katie defend her choice, but I personally believe that when combined they would created a socially awkward yet amazingly kickass girl envied by her peers for her wit and they turn to the Nancy Drew series because she thinks it’s completely cool and makes mismatched knee-high socks the it thing on the elementary school circuit. She would be mature beyond her years and will turn to her Moms for understanding while they are waiting for her to return home from school with PB&Js cut into the shapes of Cowboy Hats and a matching costume to wear.

KM: I see this combination creating nothing but a well-actualized gay son, named something simple like “John” but wielding an amazing talent for being hilarious, intelligent, and socially conscious simultaneously. He would probably take over for John Stewart on the Daily Show and deliver a perfect performance when he hosts SNL. He’s that guy that most everyone likes and one that I would certainly follow on Twitter.

Matt Damon  + Ben Affleck


CN: If there is any bromance in Hollywood that needs to procreate, it is Affleck and Damon. If you look up lifelong friendship in the dictionary, they are found beside it arm in arm drinking brewskies, yelling at the Sox at Fenway (Ya don’t know nothing, ya fecking Yankee cocksuckers. Sorry, I just like to type in a Boston accent from time to time. I’m only human.) I think this beautiful child would be a hip girl with cool boys name like Thomas or Adam and they would call her Adie for short. She would have an iPad from birth and an implied devotion to the Red Sox, Celtics, and the Patriots. She would be a master at Texas Hold ‘Em and a model for American Apparel kids…ironically. Following in her father’s footsteps, she would make incredible movies. Her first film would make its entry into Sundance by 9 and Original Screenplay Nod by 16.

Joseph Gordon Levittz + Channing Tatum

JGL and Channing Tatum

KM: This handsome Frankenstien came to me after I saw JGL Tweet about his SNL monologue to Channing Tatum, saying something like, “Hey bro, did you see me honor you last night on SNL? #magicmikeforever” and Channing responded by Tweeting the video of JGL’s striptease monologue with “I love this guy!” or something equally loving. These two are made for each other. JGL is the perfect amount of cilantro to Channing Tatum’s BBQ Chicken Pizza.

This combination would create the most balanced of boys, the kind that grows up to be the boyfriend that makes you peanut butter sandwiches for long car rides, reads the Lord of the Rings trilogy once a year, but still laughs a little bit too hard when someone farts in Yoga class. He would be smart and well dressed, a good dancer with just the perfect amount of humility. He’d kick your ass in Wii dancing games, but he’d giggle every time he body rolled.

Rachel McAdams + Ryan Gosling

CN: Many celeb couples that have come and gone, but Rachel and Ryan are number one on the list. These two belong together. We saw ‘the Notebook’ and we saw that MTV Movie Awards kiss, that love is there and these two need to bone and procreate immediately. This child would be the envy of its entire generation from conception. They would have flawless hair, perfect bone structure, tall but not too tall, witty, eloquent, genius, and talent to spare. They would choose to avoid the public eye by being home schooled by their parents around the globe from India to the Sahara to Argentina. This child would be global and perfect. The rest of our collective gene pools will shrink immediately in comparison. (Also, can you imagine how hot Ryan Gosling will be as a Dad?)

Ryan Gosling, Rachel McAdams

KM: All I’m picturing is Ryan Gosling wearing one of those baby backpacks where the baby sits in the front and I just can’t even focus. But really, I just want these two to get back together. The offspring can even be optional, you don’t have to procreate, but please, for all of us, get back together?

Meryl Streep + Hillary Clinton

meryl and hillary
CN: If ever there was a child that would be destined to take over the world (other than Blue Ivy), it would be the creation of Queen Meryl and Queen Hillary. This child would shut it down with a glance. They will be put together in both power suits and casual wear, will graduate at the top of their class from elementary to the Ivy League. She will be the world’s youngest UN representative and convince the world that she deserves to be voted global dictator at 25 and a new form of currency will be created in their honor. Meryl and Hillary will watch this all arm in arm with a gleeful grin upon their faces.

KM: I think this child would be like Rachael Berry from Glee, except for not annoying. She would win Homecoming Queen but hand the crown to the runner up who actually really wanted to win, then create a Homecoming Queen Service project and turn the entire thing into a scholarship program.

Hugh Jackman + Hugh Jackman

hugh jackman squared
KM: Hugh Jackman is a well-cooked lobster of a man: he doesn’t need anything added but a little butter. (What?) Hugh Jackman squared, in which Hugh Jackman would either be cloned or somehow magically create offspring with himself, would be best friends with Neil Patrick Harris’ kids, captain of the Rugby team, and star in an off-Broadway production of Bye Bye Birdie. What do you get when you multiply Hugh Jackman by Hugh Jackman? The most perfect abs, wise eyes, and breathtaking smile, plus a heart so big it would reach his stomach.


Ellen + Jimmy Fallon


CN: What two lovable wonderful individuals need to be combined more than Ellen and Jimmy Fallon? If you think there are two more joyous beings on this Earth out there, I will not believe you, because they bring sunshine to everything they touch. From Ellen’s dance moves to Jimmy’s fun talk show games, they just bring a ball of fun with them wherever they may go. Their child would be the school mascot from Middle School to Hollywood. They would be like the Muppet movie and gummy bears in real life! The thought of them having a child makes me want to weep. They would even have an annual Family Christmas Special aired on NBC naturally. That is a Christmas Card I would LOVE to receive on the regular.

Miranda + Samantha

miranda and samantha
KM: Look, I know that compartmentalizing women into specific personalities is unfair and does not reflect the true spectrum of womanhood. I know, okay? I know. However, I also feel strangely attached to Sex & The City, and though I know it’s a just a 2D shade of what women are, it’s still enjoyable, for the most part. This in mind, I was thinking, if you take Samantha’s fierce independence and Miranda’s occasional soft heart you have the perfect go-getting woman. This girl would be crazy successful in everything she chose to do. She’d be the friend with three internships that still makes it out to Margarita Wednesday because she understands the importance of a work/life balance and tequila.

Sawyer + Tim Riggins

sawyer and tim riggins

KM: This combination creates every single guy I ever liked in high school and still have yet to figure out why. I’m sure he’d wear his older brother’s handmedowns and a baseball hat to a school he hates just so that he can tell you how much he hates it when you ask about it. He’d never do his homework, but you’d always offer to help him study, because he is the model Bad Boy: so fantastic looking that you’re woozy when he walks in the room and so unfixable but you can do nothing but try. He’s going to be good at sports, but not care enough to do anything with the talent. There’s certainly going to be some kind of soft spot included here, perhaps a younger sibling that he loves dearly or even a dream to start his own restaurant someday that keeps him forever endearing and us always cheering for him.

Honorable Mentions:
Britney + Justin

Kyle Chandler + Connie Britton

Larry King + Kelsey Grammar + David Letterman = the ultimate Benjamin Button combination of our nightmares

Andy Coop + Brian Williams + Alec Baldwin

Mariah Carey + Celine Dion

Bill Clinton + Conan Obrien

KM: So here’s hoping that the somewhere in the distant future something brings these incredible creatures to life, along with hoverboards and an Alien basketball team and everything else that I learned about the future from 90s movies.

CN: And may these creations be the stars of Baby Geniuses 3: We Got it Right this Time.

This is our (mostly) Grown-up Christmas Wish

19 Dec


Caroline Nash: The best time of year has finally arrived again. The time of year where I can listen to Mariah Carey’s Christmas Album, J. Bieb’s ‘Drummer Boy’, the entirety of Hanson’s ‘Snowed In’, and *NSYNC’s ‘Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday’ without interruption or stares (or maybe a few stares. I can’t help that a lot of my music taste is the same of a 12 year old adolescent. They have great taste!) The time of year where Christmas lights make everything all the more magical and beautiful to behold. The time of year where everything I consume must be at least 80% Peppermint. The time of year where I spend hours upon hours racking my brain for the perfect gifts that completely capture those that I love (This is where I am most like Leslie Knope). The time of year where I want to watch ‘Love Actually’, ‘the Holiday’, ‘Bridget Jones’ Diary’, and ‘the Family Stone’ on loop. The Brits and Diane Keaton know what the Holiday season is all about.

Katie Marshall: Ah yes, the time of year when I buy Christmas Tree scented candles in bulk and keep them in my closet, Hoarders style. Same goes for Peppermint Bark, which I eat in large quantities while watching holiday episodes of Extreme Home Makeover and everything on HGTV. I mean, I do other things, too, but mostly that.

CN:  I don’t care who you are, there is something about this season that brings a little smile to your face. As a child and as an adult, there is a pure joy to this entire season that warms us all about wanting to be with those that we love most and provide equal amounts of joy to their lives, may it be yet another coupon book filled with hugs that don’t have an expiration date on them or burnt cookies that bring a cringe filled smile to your Mother’s face. As I’ve gotten older, I have noticed a shift in perspective in my “Grown-Up” Christmas List. As a child, you want nothing but toys! and candy! and Barbie dream houses! (The exclamations are necessary so you can read it in your head like the ‘My Favorite Things’ scene in the Sound of Music.) and now I find myself wanting things like Throw Pillows for my couch. Like, what? When did I become a 50 year-old supporting character in a Nancy Meyers film? Next thing you know I’ll be shopping for the perfect shade of Eggshell at Pottery Barn. I’m finally coming to terms with my impending and certain adulthood, as we all are, and it’s a bit jarring as these realizations both creep upon you and flash by. ….Is it my 100th birthday yet?

KM: And as I age, gracefully in style but still ungracefully in coordination (cheers, Middle School Growth Spurt), I find that I’ve begun appreciating things differently than I used to. Perhaps my parents’ training of, “Now Katie, what do you say?” after every. single. gift. ever. finally settled as the foundation of my perspective or maybe this is just what happens as you grow. I’m not really certain of the latter, as I am learning as I go here regarding growing up. I can tell you that my requested gifts this year are so much different in their basis from most years, and the same goes for my list of thanks. Maybe it’s too much time surfing Buzzfeed online at work, but I’ve never wanted to own a baby tiger and golden retriever more in my life, nor did I ever think I would become invested in the personal well-being of “retired” child stars, but below you’ll find that I absolutely am. Likewise, it may be that the Almost Second Year of Postgrad is the one where you realize how much everything costs ($4 for GROCERY BAGS. ARE YOU SERIOUS, TARGET.), but I never thought I’d respond to my mom’s annual “What do you want for Christmas?” email with things like “Gas card” and “Swiffers” but yeah, I did. I really did. We’re wishers, but we’re also dreamers in that we want things, but we are so thankful for what we have. It’s all about perspective.

CN: So, without further ado, I present to you our Grown-up Christmas Wish List if I lived in a world where Money is no object.

KM: And if I lived in a world where I am Morgan Freeman in Bruce Almighty. Not God, just an all-powerful deity with the ability to control things like Jim Carrey’s actions and traffic.


  • 4 Inch Memory Foam Mattress Topper for my bed so I can finally have 8 hours of uninterrupted dreaming of attending the Primetime Emmy’s with John Krasinski on my arm….
  • Money for Bills. Straight up. It would be nice to just pay off some of this Credit Card debt or take out a chunk of my Student Loan debt. That is the dream for us all in our 20’s, am I right?
  • Practical Things such as: Breakfast in Bed Trays, More items for my Kitchen/Living Froom, Everything I have fallen in love with via Etsy.
  • West Elm/Pottery Barn Gift Card


  • No apocalypse. Is that stupid? Probably, but still, I’ve got things to do.
  • That someone writes a ThoughtCatalog article about how great it can be to be a working 20-something, rather than how painful, terrible, and “full of feels” it is all the time.
  • For my iPhone 4s to gain immortality and not die a slow, painful, hardware death as the iPhone 5 updates threaten to slow it down completely, like the horse in the sadness swamp in The Neverending Story.
  • For my one good pair of heels to come back from the dead rather than remain scuffed up and worthless or for scuffed heels to come into fashion. Essentially, I’m wishing that I Google “Tailer” and get it together in the near future.
  • For government leaders across the nation to reassess how we currently support teachers, finally see all the things we’ve been doing wrong, and fix them.


  • My Student Loan Debt to be magically erased
  • Taylor Swift to be my best friend and to quit dating 18 year olds and act her age
  • Neverending supply of Trader Joe’s Candy Cane Joe Joe’s/dessert section in my freezer – (it automatically refills itself, kind of like Harry Potter.)
  • an On Call Late Night Strictly Cuddle Buddy that just happens to look like Scott Avett and play guitar and be well-read and hilarious. Is that too much to ask for? They are also required to always be big spoon and never ever complain about it.


  • World peace. But seriously.
  • To win however much money I would need to get myself and friends completely out of debt and into sweet apartments while donating to multiple charities. I’m looking for a win-win-win lottery solution here.
  • For Amanda Bynes to get her shit together. C’mon, girl. We’re all rooting for you.
  • For blazers with elbow pads to stay in style…forever.
  • To finally find out who is Ted’s children’s mother.
  • To gain the courage to talk to my colleagues more like Olivia Benson instead of Lena Dunham’s character on Girls, or, as I wish upon every star every year, to be just a little bit cooler than I am now.


  • Personal Chef
  • The ability to apparate
  • My hair to always come out perfectly curled
  • A Bojangle’s in Chicago
  • Brunch with R. Kelly


  • For Tina Fey to get her own TV network, like Oprah, but for it to be on Netflix somehow. Cherry on top: reality TV show that focuses exclusively on Amy Poehler and Tina Fey going to Brunch.
  • A reasonably priced (free) rent controlled apartment that looks like Carrie Bradshaw’s NYC apartment that HGTV’s Property Brothers  renovated into a loft, with a library. Preferably coffee shop adjacent.
  • For all of my friends, really all  recent college graduates, to get a job they like or at least a job that will connect them to a job they like.
  • To get “Call me maybe” out of my head, once and for all.

CN: I think the events of this past weekend put a lot into perspective for myself like it did for a lot of others. It was even difficult to finally get myself in the right mindset to write this blog, because I was just feeling so weighed down by the world and how impossible it seems some days for me or anyone really to do anything to change it. That evening, I was fortunate to perform in the ‘Works by Women Festival’ at the Second City Training Center and was so blessed to be a part of this festival that is meant to spread such a an awesome and beautiful idea throughout the comedy world and the world itself. It really reminded me of why I got into the world of comedy to begin with, why I act, why I write, why I sing, so that I can change the view of the world around me and to take the audience reading or seeing my work out of their problems that they burdened by for half an hour at least and get a laugh from them. That’s what I call success when I’m on stage or have a friend read through a sketch of mine and they find enjoyment in it. This is why I am so thankful I live in Chicago and am able to pursue this insane lifestyle that can bring joy to this world. I am thankful for the love I see in all of my friends and family and the world. It’s easy to find the negative in the world we live in, but we have to fight to see the positive and that there is in fact good in all of us, despite what the world may tell us. 2012 has been an interesting year and has caused me to reflect on many things, but it has also brought me so many gifts in return and for that, there aren’t enough words to say.

Caroline’s Thanks List (Silly and Serious) for 2012:

  • Beyoncé performing in the 2013 Super Bowl Halftime Show/the Knowles family/Jay-Z/Kanye/Blue Ivy – There aren’t nearly enough words that I have for how thankful I am for the amount of swag and twerk they have brought into my life on the regular. See also: Kanye performing in a Kilt at the 12.12.12 show. LOVE that man.285171_3968837944705_619615058_n
  • Homeland and British Miniseries (‘Downton Abbey’, ‘Luther’, ‘the Hour’) – Revolutionizing how I watch television and how I want to write it.
  • ‘Birthday Cake’ by Rihanna  – My derriere refuses to not twerk to this song.
  • George R.R. Martin – I am both thankful and frustrated by this man for taking centuries to finish this series. (My relationship with George R.R. Martin could be compared to most of my relationships with men, but that is a dissertation for another day.)
  • My Target Sweater Sweatshirt. Literally the best purchase I have made in years. I rarely take it off.
  • Flannel Pajamas. Just thank YOU.
  • Idris Elba
  • Connie Britton’s hair
  • Avocados
  • Oversized Sweaters
  • Channing Tatum’s ‘Pony’ Scene in Magic Mike
  • R. Kelly
  • Spice Girls reuniting at the Olympics
  • Les Miserables FINALLY in film form. I might be counting down to Christmas more for the release of this film than the holiday itself if I’m going to be frankly honest with everyone.
  • Taylor Swift’s ‘Red’ album. Girl, you hit the nail on the head.
  • Cabernet Sauvignon
  • Bon Iver’s cover of ‘Can’t Make You Love Me’
  • Spin Class and Hot Yoga
  • Thought Catalog for always getting it right.
  • Friends like Katie for always knowing just what to say
  • Our President Barack Obama


  • My Mom – She is the baddest sweetest woman around town blasting J. Andrews.
  • Laughter
  • the Hope I have for our Country and World and what I believe it can accomplish
  • For my friends having such large hopes and aspirations and for pushing me to challenge myself accordingly
  • Chicago – You sexy wonderful town
  • North Carolina – for being the comfort and home I can always count on

KM: It’s hard to put together a thank you list in bits and pieces. As I get older, I find that my gratitude from this past year, even for today and the hope for tomorrow, now feels bigger than the sum of its parts. For example, I am grateful that I have a car with heated seats and an Aldi 10 minutes away from my  apartment so that I can buy reasonably priced groceries. Yes, I am thankful for these small First World Solutions. But I am also grateful for the big picture: the fact that I can buy groceries on a regular basis, the fact that I can walk to my car and sit in it with ease due to physical ability, and thankful to have shelter. Honestly, I’m just happy to be here.

If life is an awards show, it really is just an honor to be nominated to exist, but to win, to get a great life full of blessings and good people is something I can just barely explain without completely unraveling the normalcies of life that I’ve constructed. How can I measure the appreciation I have for people like Caroline Nash who let myself and our friend Stephen crash her apartment and life for a weekend in the Big City and took care of us, even when we were hungry, even when I got cranky? Or for Jamie Wright, who is the best friend I’ve ever had, not just by title, but by definition of high quality and caliber. Or for Spencer, the best boyfriend I could ask for, sure, but also just the best person I could know. How can I list all of the reasons why I’m thankful he even exists? I haven’t gotten it down just yet, but I try on a regular basis. It usually begins with something simple like, “Oh, babe, you brought ice cream over for Breaking Bad!” and ends with “…and I just think that I finally understand what John Green meant when he said ‘I wanted nothing more than to sleep with her..’ you know?” It gets pretty serious. Might I mention how thankful I am for his patience?  How can I define the gratitude I feel on a Wednesday evening when I have no other obligation than to feel worn out from a hard day’s work as I Tweet nonsense about Bravo TV shows and slowly get ready to out to dinner with a group of great friends?

There is no one word for it, more a feeling, really. I am spoiled with good things and good people. Happiness surrounds me and protects me. The optimism I learned from my mother when I was younger has prevailed in me and for that I am forever grateful—maybe that’s it. It’s not just that I am thankful for this plaid blazer that I found on sale at Target, it’s that I am grateful that there is a Target, that I am doing well enough to blow stupid amounts of money at Target, and that I have good friends that I can complain about my Target addiction to. My gratitude permeates in an eternal ripple effect; each thing or person that I appreciate reminds me of something else that I am thankful for. This year I turned 23; how many have not even made it to 22? Or 12? I am thankful for the small things – yellow flowers in the medians of highways, YouTube videos of puppies trying to fall asleep on the stairs, my friend sending me quotes from Lord of the Rings when I need encouragement. And for the big things that I didn’t know were big until this year – getting a job and learning to love it, finding a great city to live in, my parents, my older sister, my education, my freedom. I’m thankful that 2012 happened and that I was even a part of it, even invited to the party, let alone nominated for an award or multiple awards, really, and even further, winning on a regular basis. 2012 has been good to me and I am thankful for it, as well as every part, and the sum thereof.

Things Katie is grateful for:

  • My family, always
  • Arrested Development coming back to TV, especially going straight to Netflix
  • The Fault in Our Stars, John Green’s internet presence, and Jamie, for many things, but especially for introducing me to both
  • Downtown Greensboro, NC, especially Elm St. during the holidays
  • Anytime I’ve found reasonably priced business professional clothes at thrift and stores
  • The fact that I didn’t crash that one time when my car malfunctioned on the highway
  • That I’ve been able to live out my Step Up fantasies via Zumba
  • That Barack Obama was re-elected and Hillary Clinton is on the rise


  • For 2012 Pop dance remixes, such as this one and this one
  • For Otterboxes (my iPhone thanks you, too)
  • For good books like Divergent that kept my YA action addiction going
  • That Nate Ruess finally got the critical acclaim he deserves after years with The Format and Fun., with the Some Nights album
  • For seeing Mumford & Sons twice in one year
  • For my job, and even having a job in today’s economy
  • That my friends Au Pairing in Spain and Australia were safe and happy the whole time, and that one of them even came home already!
  • For so many good people that I’ve come to know and love this year

KM: It’s funny how our wishes and perspective changes as we age. Did I get that statement from a Pin in the “Inspirational Quotes” section? Maybe. But look, whatever cliché thought I just had there is true, and something that I didn’t realize  the validity of until recently. Much like the Eyes Closed Drawing portion of Cranium, I never seem to know what’s happening in my life until I open my eyes to it. Sometimes it’s a squiggle drawing of three lines and a dot (bacon and eggs, c’mon) and other times it’s a masterpiece of insight. Time makes you bolder, Stevie Nicks says, so let me say now what 21 and 22-year-old Katie did not yet know how to: I want things and I am grateful for things and these two feelings are not dependent on one another. More often that not we, women especially, are told that we should be grateful for what we have, meaning, stop wishing for things when you have so much already. But maybe the world could use a little bit of both, a little gratitude and a lot of wanting more. So here’s to you, 2012, for being so very good to us and so many others and here’s to the wishes, dreams, and wins of 2013…

…you know, if the world doesn’t cease to exist after the Mayan Apocalypse and that Jake Gyllenhall movie prove to be right and all that.

Where My Ladies At?

30 Oct


Caroline Nash: 2012 will be remembered for many things: Justin Timberlake marrying the wrong woman (where was Britney when the preacher asked if anyone objected?! She objects! We all object! Viva la matching denim outfit!), Taylor Swift’s ‘RED’ album, Chambray, and the heartache we have all suffered from the divorce of Will Arnett and Amy Poehler, but for some inexplicable reason (okay, not that inexplicable since we have a Presidential election on our horizon) 2012 has seen a large scale attack on woman kind. This seems a little bit strange to me because as of 2011, the population in the US consisted of 50.8% women, which would mean that the ladies are in the majority, but according to many of our esteemed politicians you would think otherwise.

Katie Marshall: What’s strange is that even though women may be getting the cold shoulder in some political arenas (is that a real thing? Like a large scale debate over Foreign Policy in a stadium? Are bulls involved?), a resounding group of intelligent and talented women are stepping up to the plate and knocking that cold shoulder out of the park, A League of Their Own style. These individuals, these strong women, are who we’re here to talk about today.

To quote Scrubs, what is it about strong women? No matter if they’re standing up for someone, fighting for what they believe in, or just fighting to fight, there is nothing that incites the car brakes squealing to a halt noise like a strong woman in action. I know you’ve seen it: a woman defending her timid friend against a highly vocal adversary, a woman making a strong point in a debate and subsequently winning, or even a strong woman in a soft moment, taking care of someone in need. There’s something about a strong woman that builds me up, Buttercup, but that can also leave me shaking in my Target boots.

I have to let some truth out here for a minute: I procrastinated writing this blog entry. No—procrastinated isn’t the word to completely portray my thought process. I actively avoided writing my portion of this blog entry. Strange, I know, since you know I appreciate a strong hit of Girl Power like athletes appreciate those weird G2 gummies post-game, and yet still, I did. It felt like some part of me didn’t even want to write this blog entry, but why? Why wouldn’t I want to write compliments about strong women that I not only admire, but also aspire to join some day in the Strong Women Who Wear Cute Clothes and Kick Ass Club (or SWWWCCKA for short. They’re working on the name.) It says something that it me took so long to write this, and the only conclusion I can make is that I was intimidated by this blog post, or rather, the contents of the blog.

CN: The 19th Amendment was only ratified into our Constitution 92 years ago, but it has been an uphill battle ever since from competing for jobs to competing for respect and equal treatment to being in control over our bodies. It’s things like these that just make you think internally sometimes, “Man, life would be so much better as a privileged white male over 50.” And then you have a Looney Tunes shake of the head and set yourself back into reality and realize, you know what? I love being a woman and everything about it. This is why as women we have to remember who got us here, why we are strong, and deserve to have our voices heard and continue to have a major impact on the world we live in.

KM: There’s a litany of women, even binders full of them, who regularly upturn Oscar Wilde’s statement: “Women are meant to be loved, not understood” on a regular basis. They demonstrate that we are meant to be loved, yes, but we are also meant to be understood, appreciated, encouraged, and r-e-s-p-e-c-ted. Hillary Clinton, for example, especially with her recent revival, and thank God for that, because I was waiting for her like John Conner waited for The Terminator in Terminator 2. She told us she’d be back, okay? So Hasta Lavista, haters, Hillary is back with the highest approval rating in the White House, a husband who may have lost Husband of The Year several times over but won the esteemed honor of being the only person who actually made sense during this election, and a slew of Tumblrs dedicated to her. The powerhouse SNL trifecta: Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, and Kristin Wiig, who consistently deliver the funny, but also the insightful and even inspiring. And of course, JK Rowling and Beyonce, both of whom require no further explanation of their power than their names.

And yes, I am excited by all of the above women and many more, but just as I am intimidated by meeting new women and the subsequent befriending process that feels strangely like hitting on someone mixed with wearisome small talk that nobody likes, I felt intimidated by writing about strong women that I don’t know. Perhaps that is why I’ve taken so long to get my blog act together—just as I never know if I’ll fit into a new group of women, I didn’t know if I fit in with the strong women on my Netflix or that I quote on my Facebook when I need a boost and really, are we certain these women are awesome? Okay, most of them, absolutely, but let’s remember that Amanda Bynes was the absolute coolest for so long, until she said “I’m nothing like the characters I was forced to play on TV” and subsequently went off the rails. The point is, I may not know these famous strong women (yet), but I am surrounded by strong women in my life and have learned most everything I know from them.

CN: So we here at Curlyhead Problems want to honor and recognize the women who have impacted us, may they be on a global scale  or  one of our best friends or perhaps they may even be fictional. These are the women we aspire to be and hope we can leave an equal impact behind as we grow and get older. We wouldn’t be who we are without these women in our lives and we are thankful for each and every one of them.

KM: A list of strong women, or any list involving anything good in the world, would be incomplete without including my mom. She is the type of strong woman that sneaks up on you, like a lioness. She’s the glue that holds my family together. We all come to her for different things, but all leave with the same result: support, encouragement, and a warm sensation in our hearts similar to the first cup of Hot Cocoa in the winter. She’s brilliant. She’s beautiful. She’s one of the most optimistic people I know. She taught me the importance of sharing ideas, rather than telling someone what to do or even holding the idea to myself. She taught me that there are more important things than personal glory, but to always celebrate a victory, no matter how small. She taught me how to drive and how to make Spaghetti Pie, both of which have served me in many ways throughout my life. She refused to accept my far below par work when I went through an apathetic phase in school, but still to this day accepts my weirdness, even appreciates it. For example, when I went by Kmarsh in highschool, I started calling her Momma Marsh. To this day, she’ll still sign some of her emails, even my Christmas cards, as Momma Marsh or M-Marsh. She’s the best. She offered me an example of what I could be when I grew up: I didn’t have to just be a family woman or just a working woman. It would be hard, but I could be both. Being a mother is one of those things that we children never really appreciate until we’re older, or for some, until it’s too late. I took my mom for granted for years, choosing to spend my time asking her about allowance and curfews, always blowing over her lessons instead of retaining them, but low and behold, even though I now generate my own allowance and curfew, her lessons remain. She’s the strongest woman I know, and I hope to become at least a fraction of the woman she is.


KM: If I am lucky to have such a fantastic mother then I must’ve won the lottery with my sister. It’s family legend that my sister was the only one who knew I was going to be a girl; everyone else was certain I would a boy. Whether she was just intuitive or actually changed my fate, I am forever grateful. Partially for making sure I was a girl and not a boy (I would’ve been named Melvin. Um?), but also for all of the work she put into me. Two high performing, working parents meant that I had a comfortable childhood, but it also meant that my older sister was required to take care of me, even when I was annoying. Which I was. A lot. But she’s my hero for more than just driving me to my friends’ houses and for teaching me how to play Sims. No longer satisfied with just being called The Smartest Girl in school, she pushed herself through Undergrad, then went on to work on getting her PHD in biochemistry, which I would explain to you, but I still don’t understand it. She’s the type of person who is so in shape that on Wednesday she’ll decide to run a marathon on Saturday. She regularly kicks my ass in Zumba and does it all with this smile and laugh that pushes me to compete, to do better. She’s brilliant. She’s beautiful. She’s one of the best people I know and while I know for absolute certain that I took her for granted for so long, I am so thankful that she’s such a kind person for forgiving my idiocy and loving me anyway.


CN: I did not have the pleasure and honor of having a sister growing up, but I did meet the person who I would consider on the level of being a sister in high school. My dearest and best friend, Elly. I am constantly awed and amazed by everything she achieves. Elly is the friend that makes you see that getting to the moon isn’t impossible, it’s merely just a logistical concern. Going to dental school isn’t enough, she is getting her Master’s Degree while she is at it. She is the only girl in a family with 5 brothers. Being born into such a lineage forces you to have a strength from the get go unlike anything else (Just try playing a game of Phase 10 or Settlers of Catan with her). She has had to listen to me rant about countless boys, deal with my never-ending hair and clothing decisions, and question if what I’m doing is right or wrong. She is the first one to tell me like it is and I love her for it. But then again, she is also there to be the first one to blast and belt ‘Elephant Love Medley’ with me in the car as Nicole Kidman and Ewan McGregor wash the woes away. She makes you see beyond what you think is the best version of yourself and that there is something more there than you would have seen by yourself. She is constantly helping those around her despite her lack of free time and I’m certain she has a Time Turner hidden somewhere allowing her to tumble, stay up to date with her favorite Television shows, play with her cats, all while succeeding lightyears ahead of the rest of us. No is not a word in her vocabulary and that is all something we should live by. She is hilarious, impulsive, passionate, thoughtful, and aims to be there for everyone in her life. If you have ever watched Grey’s Anatomy (or caught yourself not turning away from a rerun on Lifetime), you will have seen how Cristina and Meredith have referred to each other as their person, and well she is mine. She is my hero and everyday I aspire to be half the woman that she is.

KM: Through trial and error and several Facebook friend cleanses, I have come to accept that fact that while we are all individuals, we may also be the company we keep. This is especially true when it comes to the women I’ve befriended and even cut ties with in my life. I am beyond lucky to be friends with the women that I am today, especially with my tendencies to get upset about unimportant things (See: tailgaiting) and my desire to hang out as much as possible all the time, which occasionally steps over the boundary. Oh, you’re in jammies watching Bravo? Oh my gosh, that’s exactly what I wanted to do tonight, can I stop by? My friends are dynamic human beings with their compasses pointed in the direction of their dreams. They are beautiful, but for more than their great hair and symmetrical face structures. They are beautiful because they are unforgivingly themselves. For a woman who wants few things more than to please others, spending time with such a unique group of individuals is exactly the balance I need. These women are incredible. They are working through school with an end goal in mind or working as young professionals, taking their worlds by storm. They are actresses, au pairs, grad school students, and students of life. They are saving lives as nurses, changing lives as teachers, all the while making mine better just by existing. They received promotions after only working for 2 months, they work 2 jobs and rule at both of them, and they take care of themselves and each other, even me, even when I don’t deserve it. Especially when I don’t deserve it. They are working toward their dream job, even if it requires moving cross country to a big, bad new city like New York or Chicago, and they are succeeding. Yes, even in today’s world, these women that I am so lucky to know are winning a little bit more every day. They are friends, girlfriends, sisters, daughters, and my rocks. Nothing gets me back on track like reaching to one of my friends, either with a lengthy story that requires analyzation and discussion, or with nothing more than a text that says: “Wine tonight?” I wouldn’t be who I am today without knowing these women and I certainly wouldn’t be as well rounded, even as well dressed, as I am without them. They continually impress me and inspire me to become more. If what I have learned is in fact true, that we are the company we keep, than it is my honor to know them and I would happily be defined by my connection to any of them.


CN: I cannot write this post without honoring or mentioning the collective group of women that got me to where I am today: the Spice Girls. Oh, you may chuckle. You may laugh. You may jest. You may roll your eyes, but nay, these women rocked my childhood and life as we know it. Two words: Girl Power. Simple in itself, yet they packed so much weight and meaning growing up as a young girl. They made you feel so much pride and honor in being a woman. And c’mon, who didn’t want the bus with the Union Jack flag on it? They took the 90’s by storm and were themselves so unapologetically, that everyone just had to stand and take notice.

Most every girl had their Spice that they identified with (For me, it was Ginger, which was a bit of foreshadowing years later now that I’m a redhead) and you were like, “I’m a woman, get out of the way,” as you went into your respective ‘Spice Up Your Life’ routine. Due to the idea of Girl Power, anything was truly possible. You were like I could be an astronaut? No problem. Take over the world? Easy, I’ll do it after I make out with my sexy husband, David Beckham. Oh to be, Victoria Beckham. Most importantly, they reminded us of the bond and responsibility we have to each other as women. We have to support each other through everything, because there are enough trials and tribulations going on in the world, why must we attack one another to add to it? They did also teach us the tried and true lesson of, “If you wanna be my lover, you got to get with my friends.” Words to live and maybe even be tattooed by. These women shaped our lives and paved the way for our lives today , that a little spice can be everything and that being a woman holds so much power.


Fictionally, there has been one woman who has truly shaped my life over the last several years, Tami freaking Taylor. She is the woman we all want to be and the one all men across the world (gay and straight), want to marry. If I ever looked up the definition of a strong woman in the dictionary, I would expect her picture to be by it. I will even have you google, “Tami Taylor” and you will see articles that range from “10 Reasons why Tami Taylor is the Mom I Want to Be” to “When I Grow Up, I want to be Tami Taylor.” Tami is not afraid to say what she means. Tami is the best Mom in Dillon to Julie and alien-headed Gracie Belle (Seriously, WHERE did they find that baby?) and to the rest of East and West Dillon as both principal and counselor. She is a supportive wife, always having Coach Taylor’s back, yet also wasn’t afraid to speak her mind. She was compassionate. She stood her ground with grace and that spark only a true Southern woman knows about as the “y’all” flows effortlessly from her lips. She didn’t give in as the rest of Dillon practically exiled her for listening and helping one of the teenagers through the difficult decision of whether she should end her pregnancy. The advice flows from her like a fountain and she does everything with clear eyes and a full heart. This quote from Tami says it best: “Here’s the thing, and I know it’s probably not easy to see here in Dillon, but you are at the beginning of your life. A lot of these football heroes around here, they’re not gonna get much farther than this. But you’re gonna go to some great college and have a career that you love. And I’m telling you right now, women are gonna flock to you. I know it’s hard to believe, but that’s how it’s gonna work. You’re a good person and this is just the beginning. I’m right one hundred percent of the time. You can ask my husband.”

CN: One could say that “Mean Girls” is the film of our generation and there is so much to be gleaned from it beyond the idea that on Wednesdays we wear pink. It’s like what I said earlier, it’s that we women have to stick together instead of fighting each other or talking behind each other’s back about how so and so is a slut for doing such and such with so and so or she doesn’t deserve any success she has or why on Earth is she wearing that outfit? Because she’s so fat, and so forth. We are all guilty of it, at least one point in our lives or another, but if we are going to become these strong women that we admire, we have to end this behavior at some point or another, or really, we’re just turning into these men that represent our country in the Senate and Congress, allowing them to deem and value us for less than what we deserve. Being a strong woman means that we must not be afraid of the trials that are inevitably going to come our way and we must be able to support one another. Eleanor Roosevelt is one strong woman that I have always admired and she once said, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, ‘I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.’ You must do the thing you think you cannot do.” It may seem impossible, but we strong women will always get through it.

KM: So, what is it about strong women? It’s indefinable, but you know it when you see it. A strong woman can change the world or change a friend’s world, all in hard day’s work. They are our role models, our friends, our girl crushes, and we salute you.

How to properly give an acceptance speech, or: Becoming Meryl Streep.

10 Oct

Queen Meryl. All hail.

Katie Marshall
: We may not know a lot about winning highly prestigious awards-save for High School superlatives-yet, but as two girls who research award speeches more than they research how to do the perfect sit-up (check my Pinterest board), we know a thing or two about how to deliver a killer acceptance speech, the kind that brings our families to happy tears and Meryl Streep to her feet while giving the classic “Oh, you’re thanking me?” face. We work on them in our heads, memorizing our Thank You lists, and deliver segments of them whenever possible. You should see my Facebook status the day after my birthday. Spoiler alert: I thank Nelson Mandela for allowing me to share his birthday, my mom for giving birth to me, and my friends for being so awesome all in one sentence, right before I deliver a slightly self-deprecating joke. It’s all about the 1-2 punch.

Caroline Nash: I remember my first Oscar’s. I was the sprite young age of 8 years old in February of 1998. Titanic was nominated for a million Oscars and I remember being captivated by everyone in the Kodak Theatre as I sat in the kitchen watching them. I thought Kate Winslet was the most gorgeous woman in the world with that green gown on, emphasizing her red locks. I just thought the entire show was the coolest thing ever. When I heard the award speeches from Helen Hunt, Jack Nicholson and others, I took their words to heart and thought what they had to say was law. From that moment forward I have been the biggest judge (critic) of all things award speech related.

KM: Recently we’ve taken our training to the next level by re-watching our heroes’ speeches. We find the clip of the speech and watch it for the second or third time, cry, and then replay the video again and again until we have the lines memorized so that in the future, just as I borrow my older sister’s clothes, we can borrow the sentiments and lines of our heroes in our own acceptance speeches.

CN:Just like how we have certain clips that we watch specifically, these are the speeches that I watch on repeat. These only encourage me to think that I will one day land on that stage in a gold floor length sequined Oscar de la Renta gown, hair lightly curled and swept to the side, with Ryan Gosling on my arm as I fight the tears back and utter some witty offhand comment to put the audience at ease as they are on their feet cheering as I accept the Emmy for Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series…. So maybe I’ve thought about this a bit too much as I fight to get through Spin class.

KM: Below you will find a compilation of the Do’s and Don’ts to giving a great award acceptance speech, with specific great speeches as references. Get out your notebooks and tissues and get ready to hit the re-play button. These super stars are about to take us to Gratitude School, and we are so welcome.

Morgan Freeman, Oscar, Best Actor, Million Dollar Baby
KM: The camera will pan to you when your name is called. The face you decide to make here is crucial. It tells the audience how you’re feeling: confident (what an ass!), terrified (oh, you poor thing!) or surprised (haha, that guy.) I say, always look surprised when your name is called, even though they told you that you were nominated weeks ago. It’s a genuine reaction, which is the best, and it’s a humanizing one as well. It says, “Hey, how did my life get so good? Working hard does pay off! Who knew?”

When you win, walk slowly to the podium. No rush, girlfriend! You’re the winner here, time can wait. When you get up there and get going, speak in a calming, soothing voice, if you can manage. Or just be Morgan Freeman and speak in your movie narrator voice.

Always thank your fellow actors and crew that you worked with in a way that says “We are now best friends. My award is your award. Sort of. Mostly mine, but also yours, like when I go away on the weekend and you house sit for me.”

Mostly, just be Morgan Freeman.

Meryl Streep, Oscar, Best Actress, The Iron Lady
CN: A good acceptance speech is all heart, all wit, or a mix of both. We don’t want any of that fake gratitude nonsense around here.

The first speech that immediately comes to mind is the incomparable Meryl Streep at the most recent Academy Awards, where she won Best Actress for ‘the Iron Lady’ (eh film, but an unbelievable performance/transformation as per usual by the Streep). First off, you must look like you deserve the Gold to get the Gold and here we see it exhibited best by that Gold gown she wore. Also Gold. Secondly, you must be so cool that you are above the fight of the awards. Who cares, really, when you have been nominated SEV.EN.TEEN. TIMES?

I repeat, 17. times.

You don’t even need that freaking Oscar, you’re the baddest beeyotch in town. But when you get it, you recognize it is still pretty cool. You must ease into the speech with a bit of humor and then get to the meat of it, where instead of making it about yourself, you make it about everyone in that room and the ones that have already passed onwand what an honor it is that you get to do this wonderful craft every day and be recognized for it. It’s at this time normally that everyone will have tears in their eyes. This speech just gets it all and you see it comes from the bottom of Meryl’s heart. For someone that deserves to be a diva, she is a pretty humble grateful chick and that’s what gets me about this speech every time. Also, the moment when she thanks her husband slays me.

Neil Patrick Harris, Favorite TV Comedy Actor, How I Met Your Mother
KM: Always appreciate the award, even if it’s given to you at a ceremony with a neon Bassnectar light show going on behind you.

During your speech, the camera will pan to your significant other. First of all, please make sure to thank your significant other, as their neverending back rubs and long ego-boosting texts are just two of the millions of things they offered that contributed directly to your success. Coordinate the shout out with your significant other so that they don’t drop the adoring reactionary face for a bored one.

If you have children at this time in your life, make sure to thank them as well. You’ll want to play this back for them when they’re 17 and annoyed at you for taking the keys to their hover car.

Try your best to be as charming as Neil Patrick Harris while maintaining his genuine love for life. I say try, because I don’t know if it is humanly possible to be so wonderful, but there he goes, talking in a baby voice and being a stud.

Dustin Lance Black, Oscar, Best Original Screenplay, Milk
CN: 9 times out of 10 I would tell you to NEVER EVER go with the political statement, but sometimes it is related and comes from a genuine place and speeches like Dustin Black’s for the Milk screenplay is one of those times. This speech just really gets you in the Google Chrome commercial soul-melting part of your heart. It gives you hope. It makes you cry. It makes you forget that the speech is even for him, you feel like he directed all of those heart hugging words to you.

The end of his speech is where he always guts me/shivs me: “If Harvey had not been taken from us 30 years ago, I think he would want me to say to all the gay and lesbian kids out there tonight who have been told they are less than by the churches, by the government, by their families, that you are beautiful, wonderful creatures of value, and that no matter what anyone tells you, God does love you and that very soon, I promise you, you will have equal rights, federally, across this great nation of ours.” How can we all stand divided over something as basic and simple as that? It’s just everything and it brought the house down accordingly.

Reese Witherspoon, MTV Generational Award
KM: Just as there is a time for sorrow and there is a time for dancing, there is a time to be humble and there is a time to be a badass that came to do 2 things: chew bubble gum and teach young Hollywood starlets a lesson, and you just spit out your last piece of Bubbalicious. As an award recipient, you must know the difference.

In this speech, Reese Witherspoon accepts a generational award from MTV. Instead of thanking everyone she knows, Reese takes this time slot to teach Kim Kardashian and every other trashy new star in the audience a thing or two, straight up “Back in my day” style. It’s the speech your grandma gives after her alotted 1 glass of wine at Thanksgiving mixed with the rant you give the Taxi driver on your way home after seeing your Ex’s new girlfriend. It’s a little bit too much, except that Reese has earned the right to say whatever she wants, whenever she wants, because she paid her Hollywood dues. So, be a badass in your speech, but only if you’ve earned it.

Don’t be drunk. Unless you’re at the MTV Awards accepting a bogus award that you don’t really care about because your life is awesome and you’re only here because of the free booze and to see your old friends like a high school reunion at your favorite bar. Then do whatever, man.

Make sure your acceptance speech is quotable. I saw this speech as a Pinterest quote sign thingy before I saw the video and just fell in love with it. I actually appreciated the text version more, probably because it had all of the punch of Reese’s speech and none of the vocal fillers.

Javier Bardem, Oscar, Best Supporting Actor, No Country for Old Men
CN: Can we just take a moment to appreciate Javier Bardem for 5 seconds? Sorry, I think I just got a hot flash. The man is just too hot for his own good. Let’s take a note from the Europeans on how to accept an award for a second. (Also. I just noticed for the first time during this speech, Tommy Lee Jones is caught adjusting his cufflinks during his speech. WHO are you?!) Get those generic remarks out of the way (although, they just sound like butter with that accent. I’ll take a bite off of that, for sure.) He devotes the bulk of his speech to his Mother in his native tongue and it just melts all of your insides. Sometimes you just get so excited, you can’t even speak in English anymore and who cares? It’s a touching moment and you should all give your mothers that sort of gratitude and thanks. The speech is buttoned with a bow to the audience and we are reminded as to why this man is a class act (and why he and Penelope Cruz need to repopulate the entire human race).

Kate Winslett, Oscar, Best Actress, The Reader
KM: Always thank Meryl. Regardless of category, award, time, or place. I don’t care if you’re a dog winning a Best in Show award at a County Fair, you will thank Meryl, for she is the bearer of all things good. I mean, thank God and thank your mom, but always thank Meryl.

If you see Leo in the audience, now, with that gold statue in your hand, is the time to profess your love to him. I mean, don’t bring out your Helga Patacki gum statue of him or anything, but let him know how wonderful is. Poor thing has to put together the winner’s compliments to create his own award because he rarely, if ever, wins. If you’re not as in love with Leo as the rest of the world, make sure to call out someone you really do love and admire.

Don’t say “thank you” unless you mean it, in life, but especially in acceptance speeches. Genuine Thank Yous are easy to spot as a cow in a zebra pen but as hard to fake as a natural tan in the winter.

Audra McDonald, Tony, Leading Actress in a Musical, Porgy and Bess
CN: Then we have the speeches where they reaffirm every life choice you have ever made and that what you are doing is on the right track and enters Audra McDonald’s 2012 Tony Awards acceptance speech for Leading Actress in a Musical for ‘Porgy and Bess’. First off, the woman is flawless. This was her FIFTH Tony. Secondly, this speech. I can’t even.

As an artist, you watch this speech and feel like you can take over the world. “I was a little girl with a pot belly and afro puffs, hyper active and overdramatic and I found the theatre and I found my home and I found a place to express myself and I was so grateful even at the age of 9 and to think that the theatre would be so great to me is mind-blowing.” Every theatre artist and every human in general has felt this at some point or another and it’s these remarks that make you feel like it’s okay that what you love is a little off the beaten path, because that’s how I feel too and someday in the future all of that hard work will come together. These speeches are always the best and to cap it off the remark she makes to her daughter about the best day of her life being her birth is the best way that speech could have ended, because sometimes these moments just have to be about family.

Viola Davis, SAG award, Best Actress, The Help
KM: Always look stunning. Look at that dress. Tell me she doesn’t look like a winner, and we all know that you feel like you look, and act like you feel, thus, we must feel/look/act like winners to be so. Or be yourself, whichever.

Always remember that Meryl standing and clapping for you is award enough, anything else, including winning, is just icing on the dream cake that is your life. See above where I recommend (demand) to always thank Meryl.

Look, narrative speeches only work if you’re really good at them, so only give one if you’ve got a great story to tell that will inspire people instead of annoy them. The genuine rule comes into play here, just as it does with Thank Yous, because a disingenuine narrative has no place in your acceptance speech. If you weren’t a poor child with nothing but an abusive foster parent and a dream, then please do not say you were. Own your past and appreciate your present, regardless of what path you took to get there.

If you have something beautiful to say, standing up at the podium with that award in your hand is the time to do it. “What is there but a dream? You can’t trade in a dream for another dream.” Oh Viola. You could get that tattooed on your lower back in Comic Sans Font and I would applaud it.

Tina Fey, Golden Globe, Best Actress in a TV Series Musical/Comedy
CN: If you are witty enough and have won enough awards, you have room to be a little bit creative and nontraditional, because you have been here many times before (and rightfully so). In 2009, Tina Fey won Best Actress in a TV Series Musical/Comedy at the Golden Globes and this is still one of my favorite moments of all time. Let’s just say this woman knows how to give a speech (see her Mark Twain Prize speech. The girl is eloquent charming and perfection all wrapped up in one.)

You know you are lucky so you get the gratitude and thank yous out of the way to remind America/the World that you know that even though you are incredible, there are bits about you that aren’t perfect (as minuscule as they may be), which is when you take the time to call out all of the haters who have ever said the worst things about you. Thanking everyone is great and all, but sometimes you just want to take this moment to tell them to suck it and we are just so glad that she did. Warning: Only do that after at least 4-5 awards received in a 2 year period or it won’t seem as charming.

Sandra Bullock, Oscar, Best Actress, The Blindside
KM: Only start your speech with a joke if you’ve got impeccable comedic timing and a repertoire with everyone in the room. If Sandra wasn’t so funny and best friends with everyone, her opening line, “Did I really win or did I just ware y’all down?” would’ve come off as bitter and unappreciative. However, she hangs out with 80% of the Oscar audience on a regular basis and is possibly the coolest woman of all time, so we’ll let it slide and giggle for emphasized support.

If you’re talking about your mom, or anyone in your family, remember that it is always okay to cry. Take a breath, fight through it, and get your point out. We all know how important family is, and we will all tear up with you. And look, if you’re going to give some wisdom, GIVE it. I said “Girl, preach” 5 times while watching this speech.

Taking the time to congratulate the other nominees is so important in an acceptance speech, I can’t say it enough. It shows that you appreciate winning and that you really did feel like it was an honor just to be nominated. Here, Sandra gives each nominee their rightful respect and it feels like everyone won. Also, she makes jokes about making out with Meryl from another speech she gave, which was great. Note: do not make jokes about making out with Meryl unless you’re Sandra Bullock. Or NPH, probably. Regardless, I recommend staying away from it, and just thanking Meryl instead.

Also, George Clooney stories are always welcome. “George Clooney threw me in a pool a couple years ago, still holding a grudge.” What? Classic. Again—probably best if you actually know Geo before giving a story about him, but I think that’s up to the speech giver to decide. I’m sure a fictional George Clooney story is just as good, if not better, than a real one.

Patti Lupone, Tony, Best Actress in a Musical
CN: This list would not be complete without the Broadway diva herself, Patti LuPone. So when you are a diva like LuPone, all rules go out the window (See her stopping mid-performance of ‘Gypsy’ to yell at a theatergoer to be kicked out for taking pictures in the theatre). You can do whatever you want, especially when you haven’t won a Tony in TWENTY NINE YEARS. When you’re a diva (or as some like to call it, the female version of hustler, of a, of a hustler) you must command the stage/room/television as you get your award. You can take your sweet time and you better yell at those prompters when they try to cue you to end your speech, because WHO ARE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT TO DO?! SHUT UP. It’s been TWENTY NINE YEARS. Subtext: She ain’t giving up that stage anyyyy time soon. Thank any and everyone, including the ghosts in the theatre. You yell over that music. You do what you want. I still cackle every time at the bit about how her assistant gives her a shot before every performance and she’s giving the PERFORMANCE OF A LIFETIME. (Trying to write with LuPone inflection is rough). Patti, just stand there as we bow down and worship at your feet.

Jon Stewart, Emmy, Best Variety Series
CN: And there is the man who has redefined the acceptance speech as we know it, Mr. Jon Stewart, as you all know here at Curlyhead Problems, we have an unabashed love for this man and we are not ashamed of it. At the 2012 Emmy’s, the Daily Show won for Best Variety Series (yet again) and Mr. Stewart thanks everyone else in the category before he gets to the general thanks and reminds us why award shows are pointless and don’t mean as much in the scheme of things in life, which is important because you shouldn’t base your career around/on these awards, but when you are recognized, it is pretty cool.

KM: We would now like to thank all of you for reading this blog post. We hope that we’ve been able to teach you a few things and have somehow inspired you all, even though, really, you’re the ones who inspire us. (tears) We’re just, we’re just, oh God, we’re just so happy to be here. Thank you for having us. Thanks to our Moms for the great hair, to our undergrad university for accepting both of us and bringing us together, and to Meryl, for existing. We would not be here witho—string quartet music.

CN: At the end of the day, this is your moment. Make it count. Those 60 seconds are yours and to quote Kelly Clarkson, we all know you have waited a lifetime for a moment like this. Go get ‘em, tiger.

Primetime Emmys 2012: Curlyheads Telling it Like it is

25 Sep

Caroline Nash: So normal people when they hear about award shows, they could care less, because they are worrying about more “important” things like the NFL, the presidential election, you know, silly things like that. But for me,  award shows are the best days of the year. Better than Christmas. Better than New Year’s. Better than my birthday.  So you know this is real. If you live under a rock or again, could care less, the Primetime Emmy’s aired Sunday evening and boy were there some great things and there were some things I wish I could get over, but can’t. Award shows are like that ex-significant other you should quit talking to and getting back together with, but when the wins are good it’s like the cloud level of Super Mario, but the losses and snubs can be as horrible as one of my unfortunate life threatening allergic reactions to peanut butter. It’s just no good and it makes you die a little (or a lot in my case).  So let’s get down to the nitty gritty in this very important award show, but before we begin, Katie and I must introduce you to our guest blogger for the Emmy’s discussion, Currie Terrell! Currie has been what feels like a lifelong friend of ours since that fateful freshman year of college that brought us all together. Currie is currently living in L.A. as both an aspiring actor and trying to figure out how to get Kelly Clarkson to become Mrs. Terrell. I will say from the bottom of my heart that Currie is one of the few on this Earth who can challenge me on all things pop cultural and that’s why I love him.


CN: Before we get to the ceremony itself, we MUST talk fashion (mostly dresses, some tuxes,  and mostly just Mr. Hamm). If there is anything I love more than life itself, it has to be a good Emmy/award show dress (i.e. Meryl at the 2012 Oscars. I could die just thinking about it.). My theory is that if you dress looking like you deserve an award you will win and normally that is the case. Although, I am saddened to report that more than usual I felt there was so much meh at these Emmy’s where there was just something slightly off with the dresses/looks in general. Exhibit A: I love the women of ‘Mad Men’ more than life itself (minus Jessica Paré, because who cares about Megan? And the teeth. I can’t even go there.), but all of their looks were slightly off. Christina Hendricks one of the most gorgeous women that has ever been created wore such a great dress for her figure but chose a hue that was slightly above taupe and slightly all about washing her out. When you are Christina Hendricks, don’t you want to stand out and instead of kind of blending in with the walls around you?


So I’m digging Elisabeth Moss’ blonde hair and enjoyed where she was going with the style of her dress? But ugh, that print was terrible! Girl, did you dig that up at the back of Goodwill? Isn’t AMC paying you better than that?


And can we clap it up for January Jones for making her more than welcomed return to the red carpet after having her baby hiatus last year. So I am obsessed with her dress. It was just the hint of fashion forwardness that was needed but of course it was paired with a horrible hair/makeup situation. January, you are not auditioning for the ABA/Black Swan 2: I Wasn’t So Perfect After All. The dress already stands on its own so much that you could have softened the look with your hair/face.


CT: I was a little disappointed by the fashion. There were very few wows. Where were the Desperate Housewives or Sarah Jessica Parker’s that make everyone ooo and ahhh? When all the shows resort to discussing Kat Dennings, we know we are in trouble!

CN: I loved the abundance of yellow at this year’s Emmy’s it made for a brighter red carpet than normal. Although, I didn’t say alll of the yellow dresses were on point. Claire Danes chose a great hue of yellow on her skin tone, but girl the fit of that dress did nothing for you and that baby bump. You should have taken a note from Beyonce at the 2011 VMA’s with that drape of dress for you. I’m still obsessing over Julie Bowen’s entire look with the yellow, but my favorite by far was Leslie Mann. It was the perfect blend of red carpet with comfort and style. It was like if Anthropologie designed for the red carpet (Could you even imagine?!). She looked flawless head to toe.


Katie Marshall: I would also like to throw some appreciation toward the big Yellow Trend that happened on the red carpet. For a color that is usually only displayed via Easter dresses, some really fantastic looking human beings brought serious fashion cred to the sunny look. Good work, everyone. I can’t wait to see the Yellow Trend trickle down to Target.


CN: Connie Britton (aka forever Mrs. Coach Taylor) made her arrival and while she looked amazing. That hair was just not doing it for me. Girl, we’re not in Texas anymore. If you are going to be a true celeb after ‘Nashville’ makes it debut in October, you need to get it together head to toe, but that doesn’t mean the hair doesn’t have to be so so close to God either. Feel me?

CT: I love Connie Britton, but I kept waiting for one of those little hair squiggles to fall out. It was out of control. But next year she will be one of the big names, so let’s hold out some hope.

CN: But if anything her being on the red carpet just still makes me giddy, because really I just want everyone from ‘Friday Night Lights’ to get the recognition they have deserved for far too long.

KM: (even you, Taylor Kitsch. Can someone please get this guy a movie role that isn’t more embarrassing than my 5th grade play? Taylor, honey, just say no to Pirates of the Carribean 6: You’re welcome for the Halloween costume.)

CN: If you have not watched the series stop everything you are doing and watch it all right now and tell us it is not one of the best series of all time.


CT: Speaking of Tami Taylor, how do you choose between Nicole Kidman, Connie Britton, and Julianne Moore? That is like choosing a combo at McDonald’s. Impossible!  Maybe that is what Michael C. Hall was whispering about all night. STOP WHISPERING! YOU’RE AT THE EMMY’S!

KM: Tina fey looked like someone I not only want to be when I get older, but also someone I want to do naughty things with. What? I’m confused—isn’t she some doofy woman who gets the short end of the stick and eats Cheetos for breakfast? Nah, girl. She’s a stunner, and she proved it last night.


CN: I am just so glad that Tina Fey has quit wearing black at every awards show, because home girl twerked it out at the Emmy’s this year. She was flawless.


CN: Speaking of flawless, we haven’t even gotten to Amy’s cleavage yet. Seriously though, if you break out the cleavage like that, an Emmy should be handed to you no question, but that’s me. But am I member of the Academe of the Television of Arts and Sciences? Apparently not. But more on that later. Also, that is the best way to come out for one of the first major appearances after a separation/divorce, but that’s me.


CN: Can I say I was also a bit underwhelmed by Michelle Dockery? I was expecting more from Lady Mary Grantham of Downton. There was just so much left to be desired. It was like a drab formal Bridesmaids dress and I was wanting so much more from the star of Downton I guess.


CN: Personally, my vote for Best Dressed goes to Edie Falco. I wish we could have travelled back to the heyday of the Sopranos so she could have earned the award she deserved to go with that outfit. The cut was fantastic. She looked so chic and I loved the gold belt that went with it. Nothing was overdone and she looked phenomenal and far from Carmela and Jackie.

CT: Best dressed by a mile and a half goes to Heidi Klum. That leg! Her hair! Divorce has never looked so good!

CN: And sometimes I can just let the pictures speak for themselves. I just let out an mmmmm as we stare at Mr. Hamm, Mr. Elba, and Mr. Paul:




CN: Now let us get to the important bits, the ceremony itself.

KM: Look, what do I have to do to get in an Emmys opening scene? Do I have to actually be a successful actress or can I start a YouTube campaign or something? Because I absolutely must be in on one. I loved this year’s cold open almost as much as 2010’s “Born to run” open with Jimmy Fallon, the important parts of the Glee cast, and a hodgepodge of likeable celebrities. Not only did Ellen, the ruler of all things good, hand the pants to Jimmy Kimmel after he got his face punched in by some of my favorite divas, simultaneously showing him respect and making fun of herself, but Connie Britton was there! It was like a Friday Night Lights episode from one of my weird robe dreams. I even appreciated Lena Dunham’s naked cake eating scene, if for no other reason than that the Emmys were saying, “Hey Lena, we know you’re weird, and we dig it.” Also, if you’re wondering, she’s the one who pitched that scene. What a gem. Wanna get coffee and talk about our middle school experiences sometime?

CN: I thought Jimmy Kimmel did a great job overall, but I will say I was just wanting a little bit more from him, because I do love so many of the bits that he does on his late night talk show (See Tom Hanks and Toddlers and Tiaras)  and he could have had even more fun with the ceremony. But overall I give the man a solid B+.

KM: I think Jimmy Kimmel killed it. In fact, I think that there should be an Emmy rule that says if you are not Ellen or Neil Patrick Harris, you must be a Jimmy to host the show. No one else does it right, not even a Wayans brother. Hugh Jackman can come for short spots only.

CT: Despite heavy criticism all over the blogosphere, I thought Jimmy Kimmel did a nice job. Let’s remember that he came to fame on The Man Show. Cleavage and beer were his punch lines. So rattling off one-liners in font of Nicole Kidman must be a bit scary.

CN: I will say in general I was fine with the majority of the Emmy’s, but there was nothing that I was solidly over the moon about. I know many are in an uproar about Mad Men and Breaking Bad losing Best Drama Series, but truthfully, Homeland had a flawless first season and deserved every accolade that was showered upon them. There are so many dramas on television at the top of their game right now that it is truly splitting hairs as to which is better than another, because they are all honestly cinematic quality and I love it. Seriously, though if you have yet to watch the first season ‘Homeland’, I recommend doing it immediately. The writing is on point, Claire Danes is stellar, Damian Lewis is haunting, and Mandy Patinkin is Mandy Patinkin. (Side note, for the UNCG alums, Chris Chalk is a main character in the first season. HOLLA.) I know it hurts that Cranston and Hamm did not win, but let’s be fair, Cranston has 3 Emmys to go to bed with at night and he is winning  again for the final season next year and Hamm has his good looks? Can we just Six Way tie at the Emmy’s somehow? The supporting actress in a drama series was also tough, but at the end of the day, who is anyone to compete with a Dame? Namely, Dame Maggie Smith. I agree that it was Christina Hendricks’ year, but it’s the Dame and it’s Downton. Although, poor Glenn losing again. Do you think she’s still reeling from losing Best Actress at the Oscars with Albert Nobbs? You know she thought she had the award on lockdown. Too soon?

KM: I can’t talk about how much I don’t like Damian Lewis after this year’s Emmys. Yeah, yeah, I’m sure he’s great and Homeland must have you on the edge of your seat or whatever, but in what universe does Bryan Cranston lose anything? Furthermore, if Bryan wasn’t going to win it (for the 27th time in a row), then certainly it should’ve gone to Jon Hamm, right? I mean, Emmys judges, do you even watch Madmen or do you just spend all of your time reading the Huffington Post and taking their size 57 font headlines as fact? In my dream world, Jon and Bryan would’ve tied and then Bryan would have given a speech similar to Lindsay Lohan’s in Mean Girls, where he says the Emmy award is just plastic and that they should all share it. Then he would’ve torn the award apart (watch this season of Breaking Bad and tell me one time that man couldn’t break anything with his bare hands), given a piece to Jon, thrown a piece to Peter Dinklage for not getting Best Supporting Actor, thrown a piece to Amy Poehler for getting snuffed AGAIN, and none for Damian Lewis, bye.


CN: What Emmy’s would be complete without some shenanigans from Ms. Amy Poehler? As we all remember, Amy coordinated the Beauty Pageant entrance of all of the Outstanding Lead Actress in a Comedy Series nominees at the 2011 Emmy’s and it was so on point. There is a reason why this woman is perfect and which is what leads me to the major frustration with her snub yet again at the 2012 Emmy’s. I seriously don’t get it. The thing is that Julia Louis-Dreyfus is also phenomenal on ‘Veep’ so it wasn’t a huge shock that she won and which is why you wish that the two could have tied and shared the stage, but it did lead for the beautiful exchange/prank between these ladies as JLD read Amy’s speech on stage. I just always love this category because these women always show such love and camaraderie for one another and every category should be like that (and as should we all in life). What I don’t get is why the Emmy’s continue to snub one of the BEST television shows running currently. I personally want to tie every member of the Academy down to a chair in a screening room and force them to watch ‘the Debate’ (Season 4 Parks & Rec episode) and have them tell me WHY Ms. Poehler doesn’t deserve an Emmy. She exhibits some of the finest acting/comedic timing on television today and some of you may say these award shows are meaningless, but to me they have mattered since I was a wee child and think that they should be the standard we set ourselves in our acting. But I know that who cares what I think? It just sucks AND she is also going through one of the most heart wrenching separations/divorces we have seen in our time, could you not even give her an Emmy for that? Shame. on. you. It just hurts through every bone in my body and to the core of my soul.

CT: I think the MVP of the night was clearly Amy Poehler.  From her witty banter with Giuliana on the carpet to her swapping speeches with Julia Louis-Dreyfus.  That is two years in a row that she has stolen the show. GET THIS WOMAN AN EMMY.  The runner up for MVP goes to Jon Cryer. (Insert Caroline’s eye-roll.) Sure he should not have won. Sure Two and a Half Men is miserable.  But the look on his face and the genuine shock that he was in were perfect.  If I had a soul, I would have been weeping right there with him.

CN: I could go on for days about the pure injustice of Jon Cryer winning Outstanding Leading Actor in a Comedy Series. Sure I would have been okay with that if it was for him playing Duckie in ‘Pretty in Pink’, but this is not 1986 friends. I just don’t get how Two and a Half Men has managed to win NINE EMMYS when Amy has won none, Jon Hamm has won zero, Steve Carrell got nada, The Wire got zilch, and so forth. I just don’t get it.


KM: I’m so pleased that Aaron Paul won his second Emmy for Breaking Bad. Aaron Paul should win every award, ever, not just because he is incredibly talented and earns it, but also because he gives the world’s best acceptance speeches. He opens with “I can’t believe I’m standing on this stage, let alone this room.” Wow, you are actually the coolest guy of all time, aren’t you? Then he throws it to Giancarlo, says he’s so honored to share the category with him. Quick question: what do you guys do on set besides act? Because from all of the interviews and after this acceptance speech, all I can assume is that you sit around and talk about how much you like each other. Also, let’s talk about that double hug with Giancarlo and Bryan Cranston. We’re all aware that Giancarlo and Aaron kissed, right? Moving right along because there was nothing weird there, let’s just take a moment to collectively sigh over this: “Last, but certainly not least, my beautiful, most inspiring fiancé, Lauren. Thank you so much for looking at me the way you do. You truly have saved me.” If you’re wondering, the entire audience started applauding, not because Lauren is some famous actress, but because Aaron’s words were so genuine and full of love that it moved everyone in the room to applaud and for every female fan of Breaking Bad to say, “See everyone? Told you it wasn’t weird to be in love with Jesse.”

And, just one time, “Emmy, bitch!”


CN: The best acceptance speech was definitely by far from Sir Aaron Paul. He was so genuine from the kiss he laid on Gustavo, I mean, Giancarlo Esposito:

You could see how surprised he was and how gracious he was to his cast members. It just filled my heart with joy and wanted to yell “Yeah, bitch!” at the top of my lungs. These are the acceptance speeches I live for (or the genius ones from Tina Fey), because you are just so happy for them in return and sometimes you may even weep out of joy (or who would do that, right? Not me….) and not the ones where they act out of false surprise (::cough:: Claire Danes ::cough::). Come on! Don’t act like you didn’t know that you were going to win as we SEE you pull that speech out on stage. It is not invisible. We know you wrote it. We know you practiced it. We know your agent proofread it. Come onnnnnn.

CT: Speaking of speeches, my thumbs down of the night goes to Claire Danes. Take a page from Kate Winslet’s speech two years ago. Nobody wants to see someone act their way through their acceptance speech. Ingredients: Big SAT words for the respectable Hollywood crowd and Maggie Smith watching at home, a “Holla” for the young folks, a longing look at your spouse. ENOUGH! Maybe next year, Connie will win and show you what being genuine looks like. (Fingers crossed.)

CN: The moments I sincerely always live for at every Emmy’s come from the Jon Stewart/Colbert/Fallon crew. They always have a moment of hijinks that bring a smile to my face and everyone else’s and this year they did not disappoint. Watching Colbert and Fallon wrestle Jon Stewart to the ground after he won was priceless and the exact moment that this Emmy’s needed to bring it up. I love those men so so much and they get the ludicrousness of the entire awards ceremony which is why it is so wonderful. Can they just collectively host the Emmy’s together already? They are class acts and I love it.

KM: Jon Stewart should win everything in my opinion, including the Presidential nomination, so of course he won the Best Variety Comedy show award. I loved everything about him winning, from the first minute where he and the less funny (deal with it) Stephen Colbert and he are holding hands, to getting tackled by Jimmy Fallon, to the “Free sandwhich after 10!,” to the fact that they’ve won for 10 consecutive years. But what I loved the most was the fact that Jon Stewart took his acceptance speech time to congratulate and compliment all of the other nominees. And yeah, you heard me, 10 years.


CT: Best Emmy debut goes to Lena Dunham. Let’s remember that this girl has only been on tv for 10 episodes! She was in the opening sketch, discussed in the monologue, interviewed on the carpet, and flashed to repeatedly during the show. I love her. Period. Emmy’s 2015 here we come!

CN: I know I probably take these things too seriously, but wouldn’t it just be nice for once to see the people who deserve to win get rewarded? Call me crazy, but I know that all of those old white men will still be voting for Modern Family next year, but a girl can believe, right? After all, these are the people who awarded Kyle Chandler Outstanding Lead Actor in a Drama Series in 2011 and if anything, that still gives this girl hope and lets me sleep at night. Until 2013, everyone.

KM: Things I refuse to talk about because they hurt too much:
1. Connie Britton’s hairstyle (c’mon, girl.)
2. Amy Poehler losing. Again. I just—I can’t.
3. The fact that we have a Best Reality TV show category. Do better, America.
4. Where was Dame Maggie Smith? Protecting Hogwarts, I know, but couldn’t Flitwick have taken over for just one night?
5. MadMen losing…everything. Really cool, Emmys.

The Art of Bumming It

19 Sep

KM: I’m reflecting on how long it took me to get dressed this morning for work compared to last night’s Sons of Anarchy + Ice Cream on the couch date with my boyfriend of 2 and ½ years.  I’m here at work, in my Lauren Conrad blazer and coral slacks (thank God for this new colored pants trend) and nice shirt. I have an important lunch meeting and a presentation later today, so I really did work on this outfit, but it still took me significantly less time to get dressed for this big day than it did for my hang out last night.

Last night I had a wonderful and fantastic, but definitely casual evening, especially since this is the guy that had a front row seat on my emotional roller coaster as my car broke down on the highway and I cheer for him as he plays FIFA online, so we’re at that comfort level, and yet I took forever getting dressed. I put real time into sweats and glasses. I was dressing down, bumming it, and yet that comfortable outfit took more brain power than today’s power suit. Why?


CN: Whereas a single lady for going on mostly 23 years, there isn’t as much thought that goes into my bumming outfits between me and my bed for the latest evening in which I have made an excuse to stay in so I can watch ‘the Wire’ and eat fro yo and have a glass of Nobilo instead (Yes, I have turned into that person. I don’t care. It is the best television show of all time. We can debate this later.). I just throw on my leggings, vneck tee, wayfarer glasses, Target slippers, and my hair up in whatever way it directs me that it will stay on this evening. Though for those dreaded times when I must go out in public in bum clothing it is a whole other story. For instance, I am currently sitting in Caribou Coffee, because I cannot write in my house, and it took me over an hour to get ready. Ready for what? To write. By myself. It makes zero sense. Many could argue that I take forever to get anywhere, but the majority of that time is spent convincing myself as to why I actually ever need to leave my house. Completely different story.

KM: I take longer on bumming it outfits than going out outfits. “Bumming it” outfits meaning things I wear to go grocery shopping, get coffee, or do any kind of hanging out that involves a couch and no one to impress. I’ve been late to Morning After a Long Night Out breakfasts because I couldn’t decide which scarf looked the coolest with my sweatpants.


CN: Living in Chicago, bum clothes take on a whole new meaning. In Greensboro I would have felt comfortable going to Tate St. Coffee in running shorts and a vneck tee (periodically), but here that is rarely ever the case. Women in Chicago will wear Lululemon yoga pants and running jackets with their hair perfectly coiffed as they push their 4 children in a stroller on their morning jog where they will also make pit stops to get stamps and ingredients for their organic growth hormone free kale smoothie and then probably have mind blowing sex with their Loop-working husbands later that evening as they talk about how great their hair is and how wonderful it is that they have zero percent body fat and own matching Audis. Okay, I’m getting ahead of myself. The point of this is that I will spend hours to just meet a friend to go to Target to get Swiffer refills, because I have to live up to the standards that the rest of women in Chicago have set for me and dammit, I will surpass them. I also possess, this, let’s call it “strange mentality” that I want to be a Kennedy or even marry one one day (There are worse things to aspire to, people.) and fully resist this idea of ever looking anything less than polished in public in my dream nautical/equestrian/Jackie O gypsy chic wardrobe and look I try to emulate and probably only have a one out of five chance of being successful with it. Because, please, do you ever see a future First Lady, ever look anything less than put together? I bet Mrs. Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis didn’t even know what sweatpants were and God bless her for that. I am also still hoodpissed at T. Swift for stealing my dream, but whatever.


There is also the issue of bum clothes at attending any improv show ever, you want to look smart and cool, but like you don’t care at all. This is why on any given night at iO, you will see 12 girls wearing some combination of plaid button downs or a blazer over a vneck tee and wayfarers to show they know their shit and they are ready to go, but you’re not too much of a “girl” or whatever the hell that means these days. (I will not talk about that at any other time, because I am so over talking about women in comedy. Who cares? Why does it matter that the fart joke was written by a woman? Shouldn’t we just care about the quality of the fart joke?)

KM: I don’t know if this happened at every high school in America, but at my school there was a definite pajama pants trend (jock girls just wore their team’s sweat pants.) We would show up to class in our PJs, but not because we were late and had to roll out of bed, oh no my friend, we worked on coordinating those plaid flannels to our American Eagle T-shirts. We put legitimate effort into what was perceived as an effortless outfit thrown together under duress.

I’m reminded of this trend when I think of girls in undergrad wearing workout clothes to class, and no, not a gym class, but just because that was the planned outfit of the day. The uniform consists of gym shorts and t-shirt on a basic level, but there’s much more that goes into it. First you need the Nike running shorts, the ones with the colored piping and built-in underwear that feels like an adult diaper. Then there’s perfect V-neck, probably from Target, paired with coifed hair and make-up. It’s like getting dressed for a prom at the gym. I had a friend tell me that when she visited a university in Florida, the hot outfit to wear wasn’t a hi-low skirt or a sundress with boots, it was Nike shorts and an XL t-shirt. It’s important to note that some of these girls may actually require gym clothes for the day, as they could be physical education or nutrition majors, or maybe they really do go to the gym after class, but for most of us, this girl included, we’re just going for the look.

CN: It is at this point in the conversation I need to bring up the all-time clothing champions, the Olsen Twins. How can we even have this conversation without mentioning this pair? With all of the designers at your fingertips, Lagerfeld, Louboutin, Jacobs, and more, you still choose to dress like literal trash! I stand and applaud your life decisions in this coffee shop. You could spend 5 dollars on a box of XL Hefty Bags at Whole Foods, yet you choose to spend tens of thousands of dollars to look the way you do and I respect that. I give you a big ol’ Michelle Tanner, “You’ve got it dude!” thumbs up. Anna Wintour thinks you’re a genius, but the thing is if I dressed like that in public, I would officially become the crazy homeless woman on the El I think I am destined to become in the distant future. So WHAT is the line?!


KM: What is really appropriate to wear? Is it okay to wear yoga pants to Panera if you’re not a young mom coming for a green tea after Mommy + Me Yoga class? Do you have to even go to yoga to wear the pants? Is it appropriate to wear rolled up sweats and flamboyant Nikes even if you’re not on tour as a back-up dancer?

CN: Can I wear compression shorts and racerback athletic tank tops to Jewel so I can try to squeeze my extra lumps into my flat behind, so I look like I have at least one ice cream scoop for a butt instead of going to a Barre class?

KM: I know it doesn’t make a lot of sense, but just like making a bad joke at your first work function, it happens. Why do I and assumingly other women take so much time on the bum look, outfits cultivated for comfort and lack of elegance? Is our logic the stuff of Young Adult novels, where we want to look like we don’t care, but we really we do care, a lot? Is apathy is the new black? Or do we want to look so busy and as though we care about so many other things that we just simply do not have the time to put an impressive outfit together—but check out how great we look in these capri spandex as we run all of our errands. I mean, c’mon, how much do you love the humble brag?

Scene: Starbucks on a Saturday afternoon. You’re wearing yoga pants, an American Apparel off the should long sleeve, and a messy bun you had to watch a YouTube video on to create. Woman whose name you may or may not remember approaches you.
Woman whose name you may or may not remember: Oh, hey girl!
You: Heeeeey!
[Weird one arm hug as you have your phone out to Tweet some inspiring shit about the weather.]
What’s her name: Oh my gosh, so good to see you. What’re you up to?
Reality: Killing 2 birds with 1 stone by going outside for the first time that day and to caffeinate. What you say: Oh nothing really, relaxing day, I might go to the gym later. You?
Seriously, where is she from: Just running errands. I love that shirt!
You: Oh, this? Thanks, haha, I’m just bumming it today.
You carry on small talk until you remember she was in your freshman dorm and you make a joke about your RA to prove you know her. Your coffee shows up, then you depart while internally high fiving yourself. Mission “Bumming while still looking great” accomplished.


CN: If there are in fact any men still left reading this post, first off, you deserve a gold medal, secondly, I am sure you are exhausted from rolling your eyes, but this is in fact a real thing. We know you typically don’t look twice at your Hanes White Vneck undershirt with the spaghetti stain from two weeks ago before you go to play football with the guys, but we in turn would be over thinking this situation. We don’t want to look like we actually made the time to put together an outfit to play catch, yet we don’t want to throw on that camp shirt from 2002 with sweat stains in the armpits with running shorts and without makeup whatsoever either. We want to look effortlessly cool and have the respect of the world that we are a “real woman”.  A “real woman” wouldn’t worry about these things. She would just know what to do instinctively and why do we collectively put this pressure upon ourselves? You want to be Joey Potter or Felicity Porter (before AND after the haircut), the girl who commands the respect from both the guys and the girls as she tucks her hair behind her ear with that crooked charming smile while wearing overalls and a Gap tank top. The girl who everyone agrees has it all. Graduating with honors and gets Pacey Witter and Dawson Leery or Noel and Ben to fight over her for years and years and years. Head tilt and swoon as we dream of the WB in its glory days…. But is this “real woman” even a real thing?


KM: At a basic level, we want maximum comfort.  A woman’s day is long and tasks are arduous so we deserve a soft pair of pants and loose fitting shirt now and then. And really, yoga pants are the one item of clothing besides maxi skirts that are as comfortable as a warm puppy on your lap and make you look as hot as J.Lo at the Grammys, so I get why everyone wants to wear them, but maybe there’s more at the core of all this, another reason why we’ll pay $50 for the right exercise top with proper built-in support and in a great color, but only $20 on a going out dress.

We’ve been told time and time again by everyone from Saved By The Bell to love songs to our Moms that the most beautiful women are the natural beauties, those born with it, no Maybelline required. We’re encouraged to wear less make-up, to decide what to wear based on what makes us feel good, because we’re at our best when we let our inner light shine through or whatever that “What’s Happening To My Body?” book that we all got at age 13 said. The truth is, we are all beautiful (deal with it), but sometimes we add a little extra to our beauty, sometimes a little too extra, say with turquoise eyeliner, because we don’t feel like our raw materials alone hit the expected mark. It’s just like a salad: sure, the raw veggies, lettuce, and nuts are best for you on their own, but how much better does that salad taste with dressing? Most of us will take the calorie hit for an overall better taste, just as most of us will take the time and effort to look more polished, even when we’re dressing down.

CN: At this time I would like to bring up the very pertinent scene of ‘Full House’ where Aunt Becky thankfully shows our dearest DJ how to put on make up and how less is more, despite what she is seeing on her fellow middle school cohorts and obviously Danny Tanner is not helpful in this situation, because it does not involved recleaning the interior of a chimney and giving a hug or making a corny joke. She tells her to let her natural beauty shine through. Cue awwws from the audience. Life lesson learned in 30 minutes or less.


KM: Think about what a natural beauty’s getting ready routine must be: waking up, maybe washing your face and brushing your teeth, shaking your hair out, throwing on whatever’s closest, and walking out the door. Now think about how much time you take in the morning to achieve that look. I’ll wait because I know you’re going to try on at least 4 outfits and re-do your mascara twice. If you, like most of us, wake up and look more like a groggy beast than like Jennifer Anniston as she buys organic groceries, you, and I, sure as hell want to appear as though we woke up and just threw on a t-shirt, linen pants, and Aviators with only running our fingers through our hair. The more I think about it, the more I realize that it takes an unnaturally long time to look natural.

CN: I know how ridiculous it is the amount of time we spend to look like the best version of ourselves, but how we look in that moment is how the world at large sees us. What if this is THE day that I happen to run into Zach Gilford while looking at used books in Wicker Park? Do I want to look like a slob? No. Do I want to be wearing a short body conscious dress from Topshop? No. You want to look like the girl they have been waiting for their entire lives. It is utterly insane, but no matter how much we discuss it. Are we going to change this? No we are not.

KM: Halloween may only come once a year, but we put on costumes every day. We dress according to how we want others to perceive us. We want to look like someone specific. Our clothes are a general nametag to who we are, what we do, and what we represent.

For example, I love Jenna Dewan’s outfits in Step Up: sweaters over leotards, the tights, the scarves and messy up-dos. Sure, on a basic level I just enjoy the fashion, but more than that, I love what those outfits mean: being a dancer. Coming from a girl who quit dance for soccer and have since gone no further with my dance career than Zumba once a week, I absolutely love everything that being a dancer means. I’m clumsy and unsure in anything besides cowboy boots or Toms in most cases, and work incredibly hard on appearing poised in important situations, so when I think of dancers, I think of everything that I want to emulate. Someone that is graceful but still hardworking, comfortable in their skin, artists with nothing more than their bodies and partners for instruments. They’re talented. They move like water with the power of a crashing wave. I always think of dancers in surprisingly cool, yet laid back put together sweats or gym outfits. Just like I want to emulate Jennifer Anniston’s cool composure under paparazzi pressure when I put on jeans and an unnecessarily high cost tank, I want to emulate a dancer’s grace, poise, and ability to move with purpose when I put on sweats and sneakers.

Perhaps I’ve been putting more effort in “Effortless” than necessary. I put extreme effort into most every aspect of my life, and though I have yet to figure out how to operate on a more relaxed system, I would love to emulate what effortless beauty must mean, so I work hard at it, searching for comfortable clothes that make me feel like I could be a back-up, way back in the back, dancer and afford me the ability to buy a coffee in public without looking like it’s Laundry Day.  If we are what we eat than what we want to be is what we wear. I want to be someone that is put together, potentially even cool, on any and all days, even weekends and off days.


CN: This makes me come back to a quote by another personal fashion icon/hero of mine, the timeless Audrey Hepburn. Audrey was once quoted as saying, “The beauty of a woman is not in the clothes she wears, the figure that she carries, or the way she combs her hair. The beauty of a woman is seen in her eyes, because that is the doorway to her heart, the place where love resides. True beauty in a woman is reflected in her soul. It’s the caring that she lovingly gives, the passion that she shows & the beauty of a woman only grows with passing years.” So maybe that is the point we are trying to get at, when we are at our most casual self, we are the closest to revealing what is inside each and every one of us, so no wonder we take that time to look casually cool as we pick up our Pumpkin Spice latte and take our headphones out from listening to Bon Iver to tell our Barista, “Thank You.” We want the world to see, “Yes, I break for squirrels. Yes, I recycle. Yes, I cry while watching Google Chrome commercials and watch videos of soldiers returning home from the war in Iraq. Yes, I treat my waiters/waitresses like humans. Yes, I am working on perfecting my cooking skills now, so that I can wow my family with them in the distant future.” and we want that to all be reflected in a sock bun, gold accessories, perfect pair of skinny jeans, scarf, and plaid button-down, and the slightly chipped Essie nail polish on our hands. It is exhausting. I think that is why I constantly want to emulate these women like Jackie, Audrey, or our current First Lady, Michelle Obama, they always look or looked dignified and as if they do/did not question what or who they are in the slightest in their day to day lives. These are strong women who don’t subject themselves to trends and have a style they stand by and something that they live and strive for beyond their outward appearance and that is what I am trying so hard to be. I want the world to see all of my hats that I wear and that I do it damn well as I swagger walk away while I am blasting ‘Freakum Dress’ in my blazer, nautical themed top, jeans, and flip flops and leave them bewildered as they say, “Damn. That girl is going to win some Emmy’s some day.”